May My Own Words Heal Me
Dandelion Scribes presents a selection of poems that reveal the power of poetry in coping with the stress, trauma, and tragedy we must navigate throughout our lives. Facing fear, illness, depression, addiction, alienation and loneliness– such experiences are shared by virtually everyone in some capacity, yet so many suffer in silence.
These 10 poets have turned to the written word to deal with life’s challenges and to summon hope and healing in the midst of confusion and despair. When there was no one around to ask, they etched their burning questions upon a blank page. When there was no one around to answer, they wrote letters and eulogies to the image of absence. And when comfort finally arrived in the form of springtime blooms and morning light, they captured the moment with pen & paper – simply to remember the brightness that had been there.
Previously published Dandelion Scribes poets Jade Foster, Abbie Duncan, Allison Baker, and Dane Osborne are featured here alongside a few writers making their Scribes debut: Brandon Singleton, Lyric C, Ashley Slaven, Rey Garcia, Brandon Thorpe, and Mellisa Pascale. We are deeply grateful to each of you for trusting us with your words and allowing us to give them the home they deserve!
Readers, remember– you can always submit a poem of your own over on our submissions page. We invite writers of all experience levels to share their work with us for a chance to be featured on our site. In fact, all of the poems included below started out as general submissions from individual authors. And the universe brought them together, to exist forever, right here in harmony.
May My Own Words Heal Me – this is our collective prayer! And may these words inspire you – whoever you are, whatever you’re going through. Know that you are not alone. We see you. We are with you. And we offer you our hearts in the form of healing words…
𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘
WARRIOR FROM FEAR
Exit signs or open doors,
The nearest escape.
It's the first thing you search for
When you feel trapped;
A hostage in your own mind.
Fear swelling into a near colossal eruption,
Your chest surely to shatter under the weight.
The walls surrounding your limits grow higher,
Avoiding these situations that sneak up from time to time.
A warrior can stand so strong and mighty,
But he is nothing if he's broken inside.
Control the fear, or the fear controls him.
Is he ever free from it?
Or will the phobia always be within arm's reach?
–Brandon Singleton
⚘
MY FATHER DOESN’T LOVE ME
I can already hear him in my head
“Of course I love you, I raised you, I made you”
But he won’t acknowledge what led to this conclusion
or he’d say “Fed that delusion”
But how can you love someone you’ve never met?
My father raised a little girl.
He taught her how to exist in this world
He pushed her heels forcefully down saying
“We walk with our whole feet on the ground”
Scoffed at dinner, “Why don’t you eat more? Texture? That’s flavor”
Let her cry herself out and offered only “Grow a thicker skin”
“It won’t do for you to be so sensitive.”
He showed her that she’d never be accepted for who she truly was.
When my father told his daughter
“Girls can do anything a boy can”
Reassuring words, but meant for someone else
Someone allowed to exist in their truest self
Falling on deaf ears because the girl wasn’t real, but armor
A mask worn by a boy, alone and forlorn,
Hiding from all of your scorn
Born deformed
Because he wore a girl’s body.
My father doesn’t love me.
How could he?
He’s never even met me.
–Lyric C
⚘
HOW COULD I?
Crying at 5am because how could I do that to myself?
How could I hate my existence for so many years?
How could anyone hate
That sweet little girl
With bouncy brown curls and a
Laugh to match the sun.
That little girl who, at 7, only wanted
The love of her father
The love of her mother
The approval of the world.
How could anyone hate
That lonely girl
Who sat by herself at 13
With bracelets up to her elbows
And long sleeves in the summer.
That broken-hearted girl
With a heart made of blue stained glass
Who loved a world that did not love her back?
How could anyone hate
That girl who lost everything
Her parents, her friends, her mind
And still loved so freely
It was a crime.
That girl who worked so tirelessly at 18
To save a world that did not save her.
How could anyone hate
That hopeful, helpless girl
Who hides all her troubles at 20
And hates her body and all it stands for.
That aching girl who
Still hears the voice of her grandmother
When the house gets too quiet.
That girl who longs for the love she knew
Two Octobers ago
Before time took what little she had left.
How could anyone hate
A single one of those girls?
A single one of those versions of me?
How could I hate this one?
–Jade Foster
⚘
BLACK LUNG
You’ve been acting off lately, opting for 3am cigarettes and that dead look in your eyes like you used to. There’s a cave in those irises, girl, and it terrifies me. They still sparkle, when moments are tender and the light is warm and soft. Nothing ever lasts, but I go to bed every night scared your eyes will always hold that lasting weight.
I can ask you what’s wrong, I can tell you I know you’re not okay, but I see the way you breathe in cigarettes like it’s some kind of life essence. I see the way you close your eyes and let the darkness chase the smoke to your lungs. You’re wishing for a way out. Wishing upon the stars, knowing the light hasn’t traveled far enough to let us know they’re already gone.
–Abbie Duncan
⚘
LOVING YOU THROUGH YOUR DISEASE
I try so hard to look past
All of your bad days,
But the person I once knew
Has slowly faded away.
Sometimes when I look at you
I still get a glimpse of hope
But I know deep in my heart
We'll never compare to the dope.
I've wanted so much for us to be
The first thing you always choose,
But after years of heartache,
I continue to lose.
Our kids deserve to have a daddy
Who always wants to be near
Not one who raises his voice
That they feel they have to fear.
Sometimes you give me flashbacks
Of what my childhood was
The irked nerves, and bad temper
And you feel the need to cuss.
I can't live through my childhood again,
It was traumatizing enough
A lot of days living through your addiction,
Has made me want to give up.
I tried this method a couple years back
And fortunately did not succeed
But in your words it would have worked,
Had I tried it at a different degree.
The disease gets so strong sometimes
It becomes hard to bear
Then I catch myself thinking
What you'd do when we're not there.
Would you run to buy some more
To help numb the pain,
Or would you notice we're even gone,
Since all this is just a game.
With you being out of your mind
I've let a lot of shit slide
Like nights I've woken up
And you weren't just by my side.
The bad shit you did to me
I will never forget,
It's something I'll remember
Until I take my last breath.
I'm not sure if it's you I miss
Or the image I've portrayed in my mind
I just want some peace for me,
I'm choosing us this time.
–Allison Baker
⚘
TOGETHER
When our eyes lock
My heart stops
You tell me everything I’ve ever wanted to hear in your gaze
My knees turn to jello
A kaleidoscope of butterflies take flight in my stomach
Your smile is my kryptonite
It transports me across time and space
To memories long since passed
A different version of this life where you are mine, completely
My soul longs for you in ways I cannot describe
When you hold my hand it feels like home
On the few and far between moments
When a kiss can be stolen under the veil of secrecy
It’s as if 1000 bolts of lightning pass between us
The darkest corners of my soul awaken
I feel alive
These moments are fleeting
Never long enough
Like a scorpion stings its prey
I am paralyzed in your love
I am paralyzed in the fear of losing you
I am paralyzed in the reality we could be caught
We shall return home
To our spouses
And dream of another life
Beyond the stars
Where we return home
Together
–Ashley Slaven
⚘
I CAME TO SEE YOU…
I came to see you today, you weren’t here.
I screamed, you didn’t hear.
My insecurities melted in the moment I remembered your smile. Your sad, forced smile.
My fears were blanketed when I remembered nights under the blankets and in your embrace.
My anxiety ceased when I remembered the warmth of your hugs when I was scared to fall asleep.
My depression was muffled out by the sound of your laugh, as we watched silly cartoons in the early morning.
My worries seemed small when I thought about how many you must’ve had, yet tucked away from me.
I came to see you today, you weren’t here.
You dealt with so much pain, that only now I realize.
So many close to you, hurt you. Yet you loved.
You defeated cancer, and yet succumbed in the end.
The days you spent “sleeping” in your room, I now understand.
The tears you cried when “nothing” was wrong? I understand that too.
The neglect of self, and constant giving? You left that to me.
I have nothing left of you, just these tears and a sincere apology.
I wish I had known.
I wish I had loved you harder.
I wish I had cherished you.
I wish I had stopped the pain.
I wish you could see me now.
I wish you were here to tell me it’s going to be ok.
I wish….
I screamed, you didn’t hear.
–Rey Garcia
⚘
EARTHQUAKE AT THE COMMUNITY SEED BANK
I’m always surprised by the spring.
I doubt that it’ll come back at all this time.
Things just get too cold and wet in the winter,
you can’t fathom how anything could survive.
You look out through the haze on your windows
on day 3 of a cold
when you can barely tolerate a temperature change
between a few degrees,
staring into all that inhospitable cold which
your 4 walls and thousands spent with KY central heating
couldn’t manage to beat back.
You wouldn’t survive a trip to the car,
you’d fall into a seizure the second it touched
your fever-ridden skin.
And you know
all the little bugs and animals you’ve learned about
are OUT THERE
in all THAT.
But this far into the winter,
the only things left in the game are a clutch of eggs
glued behind some bark,
chemically engaged in the invisible battle to prevent
their cells from being shredded by ice crystals.
But then it’s here,
you catch yourself right in the middle of it,
your view obscured by layers of excessive growth.
You have only time for the brief feeling of relief,
that it’s all still there (this time)
You have to shout to be heard over the trilling of insects
over the collective roar of birds and frogs,
you’re violently plugged back
into the overwhelming noises and smells and textures
that make it difficult to focus on any one thing,
and when you can manage to wrestle your attention into submission
all you can seem to focus on
are the little windswept seeds gathering between your toes.
You think about the heat you needed to move
and how hard it was when the sun was setting at 7
but now that the gears are greased
there’s still,
as always, the final issue of bearing.
The only assurance is
that you will have a little more of an idea of where to go,
but by then, with the temps dropping back down
and the leaves falling,
you’ll have to wait for things to warm back up,
and it’s back to wondering if it ever really will.
If it’s even possible.
How anything could survive in all that dark and cold.
–Brandon Thorpe
⚘
THE PILOT
“And every Blossom on the Bush
Adjusts its tumbled head–
The mail from Tunis, probably,
An easy Morning’s Ride–”
–Emily Dickinson
On the trail, in the Woods,
I hear the Birds’ soft peck and swoosh,
I see the Leaves and Barbs
And every Blossom on the Bush
The air is cool, the Sun just up,
I’m glad I left the bed.
Still-weary Body stumbles on,
Adjusts its tumbled head–
A grand adventure lies ahead,
A jaunt o’er Slope and Scree.
I’m Saint-Exupery flying
The mail from Tunis, probably,
And though vast emails sit unread
(from work I’d like to hide),
For now, I am enjoying
An easy Morning’s Ride–
–Mellisa Pascale
⚘
LIQUIDATION AND THE MYSTERY
You Will Not Liquidate Until I Tell You To Liquidate!!
(I only say this because I do not want you to liquidate ever at all)
Between Savage murder and the holiness of forgiveness:
Each Man finds himself in the middle stuck between the two
And while being stuck between
The entities of murder and forgiveness?
Man also finds himself in a light show of
Different bright colors called Time
And he learns to know only the mystery.
(He Will Either Be Saved By The Mystery Or Else
Be Swallowed Up Alive And Destroyed By The Mystery)
You Will only see God whenever you get lost staring
Into your eyes at the image of your own reflection in the mirror.
(So says the birds....So Says The Birds)
Mystery will give you mercy if you choose mercy.
I rather hope you choose the correct choice.
You Will Not Liquidate Until I Tell You To Liquidate.
(I only tell you this because I don't want you to Liquidate at all)
–Dane Osborne
With endless love & gratitude,
